What most (but not all) artifacts have in common is their colorlessness
Im more curious about this in some kind of blink shell (think Roon of the Hidden Realm decks in EDH), although Im not sure you want an 8-drop there
but no good human commander to lead them all
The granted abilities effectively use "this permanent" rather than "[that card's name]," so you treat the abilities as though they were printed on the permanent that gained the ability
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Lets look at roughly what the average stats are for our good mill cards so as to gain direction for the rest